


Lost Cause

by Kryph



Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst, Blood, Canon-Typical Violence, Hopeful Ending, Introspection, M/M, Self-Hatred, Self-Worth Issues, Song Lyrics, Spoilers for V7C12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:54:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22418071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kryph/pseuds/Kryph
Summary: Nothing really matters in the end.
Relationships: Qrow Branwen/Clover Ebi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 34





	Lost Cause

**Author's Note:**

> I usually obsess over the quality of my writing (and end up never posting anything as a result), but this is just my way to vent so fuck that. I didn't even reread it.  
> Title and lyrics from Lost Cause by Imagine Dragons.

_Oh, dig my shallow grave_  
_'Cause it's not me you'll save_  
_'Cause I'm a lost cause_  
_I'm a lost cause_  
_A lost, lost cause_

He should have given up a long time ago.

You’d think he had learned his lesson by now. He should’ve known better, and yet he allowed himself to hope that this time it would be different, thinking that things had changed, that _he_ had changed.

What a fucking idiot.

Of course, he tried, after the Apathy and everything else, it’s not like he can keep being a liability for Ruby, Yang and the others. But did he really think simply _choosing_ to change would be enough? Give up drinking, get some new clothes, start opening up and working with C- _others_ , and then, what, the universe would reward him for trying? Hah. Tough chance of that.

He should’ve never bothered wasting all that time, all that effort.

All for nothing.

If anything, now he has evidence, beyond any doubt, that nothing will ever change, no matter how hard he tries, no matter who is there to help him. Evidence in the form of yet another corpse, of the blood that’s quickly cooling on his fingers, of those green eyes, open yet unseeing.

_Clover._

Dead.

Of all people, Clover should’ve been safe from his Semblance, protected by his own good luck, but no, he managed to fuck even that up. All the luck in the world hadn’t been enough, his misfortune had ruined even that. He dared getting close to someone, and his Semblance killed him.

Except, that’s not quite true, is it now?

Too easy, blaming everything on his Semblance. This wasn’t brought on by misfortune. This did not just _happen_. He _caused_ it, not by accident, because of his Semblance, but through his own choices. He did it with his own hands.

 _He_ killed Clover.

_Wait, all this time that I have spent away_  
_Makes me think that I might be okay_  
_The kiss of death will have to wait_

He remembers thinking, a while after arriving in Atlas and talking to James, _Things are finally looking up. We can do this. **I** can do this._

Wishful thinking, at best. At worst, tempting Fate.

He brought this on himself.

_My head is holding on to all those things you said_  
_You taught me to be strong and get through it_  
_The mist of darkness in my head_

_“You shouldn’t do that, you know.”_  
_“Ah, don’t worry, I-I gave that up.”_  
_“I meant deflect a compliment. Those kids wouldn’t be where they are without you._  
_You’ve had more of an effect on them than you realize.”_

Fuck, he really hopes Clover was wrong about that- _like he was wrong to trust me_ -, the kids don’t deserve that kind of burden.

Nobody does.

Clover certainly didn’t.

_Fate, hath its way when all that's learned is sin_  
_Nothing really matters in the end_  
_As long as you are with me, friend_

_“Oh, you mean, like_ you _just killed_ Clover _?”_

He’d wanted to go after Tyrian, to make him pay- _he was just the weapon, he’s not the one to blame, and neither is James, stop being a coward_ -, to hurt the murderer the way he himself was hurting, but.

After everything he’d already done, he just couldn’t bring himself to leave Clover to die alone.

_Wait, no one said what's lost cannot be found_  
_You are here to make it safe and sound_  
_Oh, we can make it out alive_

  
“Qrow? Qrow, snap out of it!”

A voice, calling his name. Familiar. Young, too young.

“Qrow, we have a plan.”

**Author's Note:**

> Here I started writing a really long analysis on how Clover's and Qrow's decisions make no sense, then I deleted it before finishing. I just can't bring myself to. I feel completely drained.  
> It's just, I loved Volume 7 so far, and even in this episode everything else was great, everything except the events leading to Clover's death; and I guess that's one of the reasons what happened hit me this hard. The other is, I relate to Qrow's issues and cynical views, A LOT, and being shown that nope, things will not get better and you cannot change who you are, and no matter how hard you try your worst fears about yourself will come true... it just fucking hurts.
> 
> The ending refers to the theories I've seen floating around, the ones about everything being fine thanks to either the Staff of Creation or time shenanigans courtesy of Oscar and/or Ozpin's cane.  
> I am dead certain nothing like that will happen on the show. Even so, even though I can't believe it'll happen, I wrote this whole thing, and I'm going to indulge in a bit of half-hearted wishful thinking.


End file.
